Setting Boundaries With Yourself

One way we can show up for ourselves every day is by sticking to our boundaries. When we let others cross our boundaries, that sometimes means we are letting someone else take control of our path. 

But have you considered setting boundaries for yourself? I would think some folks might call this personal values, but really what I’m talking about is honoring ourselves and when we use the term personal values, it doesn’t have quite the same feeling. Setting boundaries for yourself makes it clear that these values are non-negotiable.

I encourage folks to set boundaries with themselves because it helps them focus on goals without getting caught up in the “what ifs” or “what could be.” Setting your own boundaries also means you’re defining your own version of success, which is one step closer to happiness. 

Be Honest With What You Want

The only way to set a goal and achieve it is to name it and claim it through dedication and sometimes a little luck. But you have to be honest with yourself on what’s realistic to reach goals. 

Same goes for setting boundaries you can stick to: you have to not only be realistic, but honest with yourself on where you actually want to land. This is where we start with setting boundaries for ourselves. Go inward and consider what do I realistically and honestly want out of setting this boundary. 

Be Clear

Don’t let this get messy just because you’re communicating with only yourself. The same way you’d state a clear boundary to a co-worker, you want clear boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are not meant to be crossed, so you don’t want to lay the foundation with cracks already in place. In order to stick to a boundary, it has to be clear what is not to be crossed. 

You Will Have To Say No

There is no way around it: setting boundaries means saying no to circumstances, people, places, and opportunities that would cross that boundary. Saying no to yourself is sometimes tougher than a friend or colleague because it means you are holding yourself accountable. 

But this is a powerful tool you already have in your toolbox. Saying no is an empowering practice that reminds you you’re the one steering this ship and you’re the only one who will set the tone for yourself. It offers you control in a world outside of your control, just like setting the boundaries can offer.